Mrs. Oklahoma presents first relationship seminar

Alissa Dawson
News Writing Student

The reigning Mrs. Oklahoma, Heather Rouba, talked about the importance of developing and nurturing healthy relationships in the first of six presentations entitled Relationship U on campus recently.

She talked about her background and how coming from a broken home affected her. She said she did not want that for her marriage.

“I believe in promoting strong healthy relationships, whether that is in a marriage or other type of relationship,” Rouba said to a small audience Feb. 15.

Rouba outlined what she called the principles of smart love.

These include seeking a good match, paying attention to values, choosing a real partner (not a “make-over” project), not changing yourself to fix their desires, expecting good communication, not running from conflict, not playing games to pressure or manipulate someone, and having a bottom line.

Rouba gave a general description of each.

In terms of paying attention to your values, Rouba said people should consider whether they want to have children. If so, what are their beliefs about parenting style? What cultural differences exist between you and the person you are interested in?

Rouba said these are all things that are considered values and knowing where you stand on them helps you to know what to look for in a relationship.

In choosing a real partner, not a “make-over” project, you should be looking for someone that matches who you are, Rouba said. This involves them being themselves and you being yourself. It is falling in love with them for who they are.

You do not want to be in a relationship with someone where you are trying to fix or change the other person. That does not work, Rouba said. You can only control yourself and no one else.

At the end of the presentation, Rouba asked six questions and told members of the audience to answer them in terms of the relationship they are currently in or in terms of a past relationship.

The questions were designed to help identify things to work on in a current or future relationship.

Lauren Mattox, Oklahoma Marriage Initiative spokeswoman, attended the seminar with Rouba. She talked about her organization, including a brief history of why it exists and what they hope to accomplish. OMI is the provider of the Relationship U series.

Mattox said the organization is state funded. She said these seminars are not just for people in a romantic relationship or seeking a romantic relationship.

She said the guiding principles are for everyone in any kind of relationship, and that Oklahoma Marriage Initiative is neutral about what types of relationships they are.

Four more sessions of Relationship U will be offered from noon to 1 p.m. Feb. 22 and 24 and March 1 and 3 in the College Union. The last session will be in 1F6 in the Main Building,

For more information go to www.okmarriage.org or contact Mattox at laurenmattox@okmarriage.org.